In a World Gone Soft, Someone's Got To Be Hard

Just so we're all clear, the key to the phrase "guilty pleasure" is, well the guilt. As in, "dang, I'm loving this, but really, I shouldn't, because there are people watching, people I know. Oh, I'll wait until they go away...."

I don't have guilt, folks. I loves what I love. Part of the beauty of approaching 40 is that, well, the things that you used to fret about just seem trivial now. At 40, you're getting an appreciation that life is both long and too short, and certain things just don't matter.

Like, ahem, other people's opinions, at least when it relates to me. Meh. Shrug.

So, okay, that's settled; guilt schmuilt. I wear my pleasure on my sleeve! (go ahead, insert your snarky joke here).

But Stevi has a fun topic for this Mixology Monday, so pardon me while I climb off my high horse and join the party.

What am I bringing to this party? Let's open the cooler and take a peek.

Jagermeister and Cheap Beer. Because I know damn well Jeffrey Morgenthaler isn't going to bring enough. Know why? There's never enough of the sheer awesomeness of Jager. Oh, and I brought the makings for the one true Jager cocktail.....

The Red-Headed Slut
1/2 oz. of the Jag
1/2 oz. of cranberry
1/2 oz. of peach liquer (no schnapps.... we're not freakin' savages over here!!! leave the schnapps for that poor sap with the backwards baseball cap slapping high-fives over something moronic, like "dude, like, you know. wooohooooo. Dude, wow, dude."

But Morgenthaler already nailed these beautifully, so we'll move on. At the bottom of the cooler, just so you greedy heathens don't swipe my stock is.....

So, the picture? That's Christine and I on our wedding day, obviously, and what am I holding in my mitt? The good stuff, hombre. And that look on my face? That's me trying to comprehend the sheer enormity of majesty and grandeur that is Mike's Hard Lemonade on a summer day. Know what? Couldn't do it. The human mind cannot fathom spectacles such as these.

Here's the thing. Mike's Hard Lemonade quenches your thirst so thoroughly that you're thirsty again (kind of the same way that Roadhouse is so bad it rounds the corner and achieves greatness). So you knock back another to quench the previous thirst. I can drain a six-pack in about an hour and feel fine. Warmhappyglow kind of fine. But I'll still be thirsty!!! You can't put a price on that kind of genius.....

Oh, need a cocktail? Well, here's the link to their mixology page. Good luck. For me, of course, that'd be blasphemé, but knock yourself out.

And, of course, they're based out of SEATTLE!!! Nobody expected world domination from the Pacific Northwest, but I'm telling, we're amazing out here..... Mike's is further proof.


Anonymous said...

Awesome post! Two things, though:
(1) The title, well, I was thinking you were going to reveal, ahem, more of yourself...
(2) Too much Patrick Swayze. Ugh.
I love you! :)

Colonel Tiki said...

Preach it brother: No guilt in pleasures. I can't wait to see you and your lovely wife next Tuesday!

Unknown said...

I have too many guilty pleasures to ever talk about another person's.

Anonymous said...

Oh, man, I totally forgot about Mike's. If I'm wrapping up a few holes of golf, nothing goes down better than a bottle of Hard Lemon. Great call.

Anonymous said...

(1) Mike's Lemonade is definitely thirst quenching, though Mike's from Canada is far superior to the stuff we get here in the US (vodka vs. malt).

(2) Here's my add to this week's MixMo, years ago I created the "Seattle Slough" ~ 2 parts Jaeger on ice in a rocks glass, top off with creme soda. Now that's refreshing!

Dr. Bamboo said...

As I've said elsewhere, there's no shame in cheap beer & Jager.

And anyone who says otherwise is a terrorist!

KL said...

I'm so making you a molecular mikes hard lemonade next time I see you at the pub.

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